Fox on a Boat

CC image  courtesy of  ilouque  This week I have yet again been confronted with a question about my abilities: am I just not 'meant' to write fiction? Is it somehow just not possible for me? This has been a recurring question in my life, though perhaps only for the past six years or so - it could possibly be longer but I'm not entirely sure my memory of my pre-teen years are reliable. I can say with great certainty that I did not always feel that way - I remember writing one of my favourite stories when I was 11, and being proud of it for a very long time. Now it seems to have become some sort of fight, with fiction constantly winning, and me constantly asking for a rematch. So what does the fact that I can't give up say about me, my writing abilities? I'm not too sure, to be honest. Perhaps I should accept defeat. I do not have this problem with non-fiction, and even poetry (which I struggled with for a while, feeling as though I'd never 'get it')...

Yes, I missed out day three.. It's not that easy updating daily! I don't even have anything interesting to say... I'm a little behind on my NaNo word count, so I hope to catch up.. I've lost a little motivation, and next week I have to focus on my essay, so I don't have much room left for creativity. I'm at the point where I dislike everything I write, which really does not help! Hopefully my story will come together at some point. I am not sure if it is the approach of winter, and the short days, but all I want to do is sleep.. Or listen to music.. I have a few ideas for paintings, but I'm not sure when I'll be able to get those done. Perhaps during the holidays.. For now, I do have a few paintings on my Facebook page; the link to it can be found on the right hand side of this blog.

This month I am participating in National Novel Writing Month, like last year. (I managed to get the 50k last year, which was satisfying.) I have also just signed up to another program where the idea is to write a blog post a day. Technically I missed out day one, but I only learnt about it today.. Anyway, this year I have a lot going on, so I don't know how well my novel will go, but the good thing is, unlike last year, I actually have a pretty good plot! I think this year could be the year I write a fiction novel, and finish it. I'll keep you updated as I go along. So far, day two is nearly over and I have a little over 3000 words, so I'm slightly behind. I also need to finish an essay before next Friday! I hope it all works out. Anyway, back to my novel I go!

I am not a writer. Let me explain. I've always loved writing, but I'm not a *writer*, I had fantasies as a kid that I would write a book. No less. In fact I told everyone I'd be an author when I grew up. It is well known that growing up also involves killing dreams. I am not a writer, and do not have a novel in me, I simply do not have a story to tell. I wanted to be wrong, I really did. This November I set out to do Na-No-Wri-Mo: National Novel Writing Month. It sounds rather simple: write 50,000 words in a month. New material, do not continue on a previous novel. I did not have a previous novel to be working on anyway, so I did start fresh. Well I am 36,000 words in and this novel is complete literary trash, no kidding. I have a sort of plot, rather vague and boring, the subplots are mundane if not nonexistent, I add lots of unnecessary description to feel as if my novel is growing, but quite honestly, it's just not. It's bits of writing here in there, hardly any ...