Promises - Poem

Wheat field image from Stockvault 


 Promises

I will think of you
As the sun sets on wheat fields
I had said, convinced

Field rampaged, violent
Winds pushing continents a
part of me, of you.

We were mere strangers.
I discovered new wheat fields
Basked in the warm glow

The sun not setting
and the colours not fading
But I was a rose

With thorns too prickly
Oh, emotions - too needy
A tiger to be.

Two kites were broken
I'm the victim and culprit
Add another stripe.

Comments

  1. Outlawyer14 February 2015 at 21:20

    Hey Kerridwen--this poem has great movement, and really picks up a kind of steam--both self-castigating, but also with a rather sharp view on life--the extra stripe and the victim-culprit parallel are really very well done. Thanks for participating, and thanks for the very interesting poem. K. (Manicddaily)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 11:53

      Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I find we as humans tend to find faults in others where we have been hurt, but may not be as quick to find fault in how we have possibly hurt others.. It's good to be aware. :)

      Delete
  2. Anonymous14 February 2015 at 23:03

    Those stripes are earned. Love them hard, and write them down.

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 11:54

      Thank you! Our experiences, good or bad, build us..

      Delete
  3. Sherry Blue Sky15 February 2015 at 01:11

    Oy. This is so the way things go. I love it!

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 11:55

      Thanks! I actually like this poem a little more this morning. :)

      Delete
  4. brudberg15 February 2015 at 06:22

    To be both victim and the culprit.. That's often how it ends. I think your little stanzas work best together as a progression.

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 11:56

      Thank you, I limited myself to the haiku form to avoid using unnecessary wording.. as I often do.. haha. Glad you like it :)

      Delete
  5. Kerry O'Connor15 February 2015 at 10:45

    I like the way you have presented your theme in short phrased images, almost incomplete at times, like a string of thoughts slipping through the poet's fingers.

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    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 11:57

      Thank you! Yes, I think it is a lot like that.. musing.. unfinished thoughts that need to be laid out anyway!

      Delete
  6. Brian Miller15 February 2015 at 13:40

    i like the end there....two kites...and how we are both the victim and the perpetrator in these situations of the heart....i like the structure of it as well...we dont need the full story, as that allows us to insert our own....

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 14:40

      Thanks! When the heart is involved, things get complicated.. :)

      Delete
  7. Anonymous15 February 2015 at 14:13

    Two kites were broken
    I'm the victim and culprit....I like that. I think it is true that there are always two sides to a story and very rarely should one person take all the blame.

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 14:40

      I'm liking your interpretation! There is definitely always bias in a story. :)

      Delete
  8. Mary15 February 2015 at 14:32

    Your well chosen words describe the situation powerfully. Sometimes the 'winner' and 'loser' in a disagreement are one and the same.

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    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 14:41

      Hmm, I like that interpretation too! Yes, one can be both at the same time.. Thanks!

      Delete
  9. Anonymous15 February 2015 at 15:17

    the conversation within is heated and powerful.
    nice poetry.

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  10. ZQ15 February 2015 at 15:58

    Awesome!
    ZQ

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  11. Anonymous15 February 2015 at 16:27

    sweetttttt..

    ReplyDelete
  12. Audrey Howitt aka Divalounger15 February 2015 at 17:37

    I think this is my first time visiting your work--striking piece--and so honest--

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen15 February 2015 at 20:47

      Oh thank you! And welcome :) I'm glad you like it!

      Delete
  13. Unknown15 February 2015 at 19:33

    We each are victim and culprit. We each could be all, any. Such is life and its lessons.

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  14. Sumana Roy16 February 2015 at 04:53

    The final stanza is stellar and says it all....Contentment is the greatest wealth. Without it we do become the victim & the culprit...

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  15. Jae Rose16 February 2015 at 13:21

    Add another stripe - i think we can all do that at times...life and promises are lessons to learn from..

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  16. Susie Clevenger16 February 2015 at 22:44

    victim and culprit...We certainly can be both. Life isn't easy. Great write!

    ReplyDelete
  17. humbird16 February 2015 at 23:12

    I really believe 'Winds pushing continents a
    part of me, of you' after reading this poem. How wonderful it is to be able to add another stripe to fix the broken connection...~ evocative poem.

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  18. Margaret17 February 2015 at 05:17

    sometimes we have only ourselves to blame…

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen20 February 2015 at 21:50

      Too true. But the idea is to learn from mistakes..

      Delete
  19. Anonymous17 February 2015 at 17:06

    refreshing,.

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  20. Gen Giggles 18 February 2015 at 14:12

    Yes being paper doesn't stop us from hurting others

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    Replies
    1. Kerridwen20 February 2015 at 21:49

      Paper cuts! We all hurt each other in some way. Sometimes it's too deep to heal, though.

      Delete
  21. Grace21 February 2015 at 23:07

    Love that ending, add another stripe ~ Hopefully we move on and learn ~

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  22. Other Mary22 February 2015 at 13:57

    Yes, you final stanza is remarkable.

    ReplyDelete
  23. my heart's love songs18 March 2015 at 07:41

    oh, i agree! the final stanza is striking! wonderful poem!

    ReplyDelete

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