Promises - Poem

Wheat field image from Stockvault 


Promises

I will think of you
As the sun sets on wheat fields
I had said, convinced

Field rampaged, violent
Winds pushing continents a
part of me, of you.

We were mere strangers.
I discovered new wheat fields
Basked in the warm glow

The sun not setting
and the colours not fading
But I was a rose

With thorns too prickly
Oh, emotions - too needy
A tiger to be.

Two kites were broken
I'm the victim and culprit
Add another stripe.

Comments

  1. Hey Kerridwen--this poem has great movement, and really picks up a kind of steam--both self-castigating, but also with a rather sharp view on life--the extra stripe and the victim-culprit parallel are really very well done. Thanks for participating, and thanks for the very interesting poem. K. (Manicddaily)

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    1. Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I find we as humans tend to find faults in others where we have been hurt, but may not be as quick to find fault in how we have possibly hurt others.. It's good to be aware. :)

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  2. Those stripes are earned. Love them hard, and write them down.

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    1. Thank you! Our experiences, good or bad, build us..

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  3. Oy. This is so the way things go. I love it!

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    1. Thanks! I actually like this poem a little more this morning. :)

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  4. To be both victim and the culprit.. That's often how it ends. I think your little stanzas work best together as a progression.

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    1. Thank you, I limited myself to the haiku form to avoid using unnecessary wording.. as I often do.. haha. Glad you like it :)

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  5. I like the way you have presented your theme in short phrased images, almost incomplete at times, like a string of thoughts slipping through the poet's fingers.

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    1. Thank you! Yes, I think it is a lot like that.. musing.. unfinished thoughts that need to be laid out anyway!

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  6. i like the end there....two kites...and how we are both the victim and the perpetrator in these situations of the heart....i like the structure of it as well...we dont need the full story, as that allows us to insert our own....

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    1. Thanks! When the heart is involved, things get complicated.. :)

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  7. Two kites were broken
    I'm the victim and culprit....I like that. I think it is true that there are always two sides to a story and very rarely should one person take all the blame.

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    1. I'm liking your interpretation! There is definitely always bias in a story. :)

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  8. Your well chosen words describe the situation powerfully. Sometimes the 'winner' and 'loser' in a disagreement are one and the same.

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    1. Hmm, I like that interpretation too! Yes, one can be both at the same time.. Thanks!

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  9. the conversation within is heated and powerful.
    nice poetry.

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  10. I think this is my first time visiting your work--striking piece--and so honest--

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    1. Oh thank you! And welcome :) I'm glad you like it!

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  11. We each are victim and culprit. We each could be all, any. Such is life and its lessons.

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  12. The final stanza is stellar and says it all....Contentment is the greatest wealth. Without it we do become the victim & the culprit...

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  13. Add another stripe - i think we can all do that at times...life and promises are lessons to learn from..

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  14. victim and culprit...We certainly can be both. Life isn't easy. Great write!

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  15. I really believe 'Winds pushing continents a
    part of me, of you' after reading this poem. How wonderful it is to be able to add another stripe to fix the broken connection...~ evocative poem.

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  16. sometimes we have only ourselves to blame…

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    1. Too true. But the idea is to learn from mistakes..

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  17. Yes being paper doesn't stop us from hurting others

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    1. Paper cuts! We all hurt each other in some way. Sometimes it's too deep to heal, though.

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  18. Love that ending, add another stripe ~ Hopefully we move on and learn ~

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  19. Yes, you final stanza is remarkable.

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  20. oh, i agree! the final stanza is striking! wonderful poem!

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